Watch running stumbled online dating
One member I interviewed reported spotting Raven Symoné of I matched with the owner of the Paris nightclub I spent the summer of my 19th year strategizing about getting into, and stumbled upon enough up-and-coming DJs/musicians to program a weekend at Mo MA PS1’s Warm Up.
I went on some good dates, some bad dates, a whole lot in between. In Hudson, as a recently single 31-year-old woman, I couldn’t bring myself to type Ok Cupid’s address into my browser. On weekend nights he tended bar at the popular watering hole a few blocks from my apartment. When I encountered the picture of someone I knew from town, however, I freaked out and hastily deleted the entire app from my phone, only to download it again the following day. It didn’t take long before I ran out of men on Tinder. But upstate Tinder was different than city Tinder and Hudson was not a place teeming with lawyers and doctors and Ph Ds in chemistry. On one of my last nights in Hudson, before I moved back to Boston for another job, I went to the bar with some friends.I loved reading other men’s profiles, comparing my narrative to theirs, imagining if they could ever intertwine. I was a relative newcomer to town, but even so I felt sure I would recognize everyone with a profile. Oh, well.)I turned to technology next, but technology that hadn’t been available to me when I last dated in Boston: Tinder, the location-based app that shows you little more than a couple of pictures, a line of text, and overlapping Facebook friends. In fact only a couple of swiping sessions, within a couple of days. I increased the top end of my age range to 40, and then 45. I began to more carefully consider every single man, every single potential match. And so as I swiped away, I found myself both matching and connecting with men I would never have given a second thought in the city. I met farmers, construction workers, photographers, writers, and even a professor from Bard. The first man I dated post-breakup served us beers with a friendly hello. One night after lugging my boxes into the Boston apartment about a month later, I logged on to Tinder.What I loved most, however, was that when a date was over, it was over, if I wanted it to be. And the flip side of that: They would recognize me. The first person I dated after my breakup I actually met IRL. “There’s no one new around you,” the little red words pulsed on my screen. I was disappointed in myself for being so narrow-minded. People tend to live upstate in towns like Hudson for a few reasons: to escape, to find the space for creativity, or for an unfettered love of the land. I chatted with a law student in Albany who lived with his parents. I briefly dated a tall, tattooed man who worked at an art gallery in Chelsea when he was in town for a week on a job. (We didn’t.)Toward the end of June, I met a man who worked as a freight train conductor. We took them to the patio, to sit in the humid dusk of an early August evening. Later, I glanced up to see the tattooed art gallery employee, who had returned to town for another gig, across the room. I swiped for five full minutes but I didn’t run out of men. Raya isn’t the first online dating service to try to harness celebrity and status to cultivate an image of exclusivity — its strategy, however, seems shrewder than most.The League, another private dating app, launched last year amid widespread media coverage and .1 million in seed money, and has attracted that’s elite by some standards but blandly corporate by others. Since it launched in March, it has stayed totally out of the press.
Swimming in the upstate pool meant that, through the magic of dating apps, I could actually meet people whom I wouldn’t encounter in “real life.”But Tinder’s location-based services brought up other issues. I wasn’t really in the market for one-night stands with Manhattan dwellers, the likes of whom often looked at me with a bit of shock and awe when I told them that, yes, indeed I did live up here full-time.