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I got lucky for a little while and seriously dated a man for about a year, though I had initially lied to him for two months about my status.
He forgave me and we worked through it, like grown-ups, and had a good time getting to know each other, but the insecurities that came along with the initial deceit led to more baggage than was healthy for either of us.
When a person goes on treatment — I take one pill a day — undetectable is the goal.
Staying on treatment and keeping my viral load at undetectable levels means that I'm going to lead a long healthy life.
I thought it was a formality I should finally take care of.
The positive result almost didn't compute at first.
I was in shock that simply sleeping with probably close to a hundred men throughout my 20s — in college, in Rome, Italy where I lived for five years, in New York City upon my return — and not being strict about using condoms could have such a serious consequence.But when you're the kind of person who equates dating with dinners, drinks, and casual sex, HIV can put a real damper on all that. Not only was I still trying to figure out what living with HIV meant, I couldn't just do that whole "put on your high heels and get back out there" thing that most newly single people do.Dating with HIV, seriously or casually, is hard — even though it doesn't have to be.It feels like I have to twist someone's arm to see past my HIV viral load.is not the greatest pick-up line, and it's certainly not great for my self-esteem.
I am HIV positive, but it is undetectable, which means I am one of the estimated 30 percent of the 1.2 million people living with HIV in the United States who cannot transmit the virus.