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On the other hand, the distancer may retreat and seek out alone time when under stress and intensify their partner’s need for closeness – thus their desire to pursue.
Meanwhile, Jake resorts to his classic distancer strategy – perhaps stonewalling her attempts to communicate.
“How can we get along if we don’t work on our problems?
” “I’m not sure what problems you’re talking about,” Jake says.
Repair work begins with expressing your intent in a positive way and taking responsibility for your part in it.
Afterwards, both people need to make a commitment to work on improving their relationship. D., “It’s always easier to point the finger at our partner than to acknowledge our part in the problem.
Why is the pursuer-distancer dance so damaging to an intimate relationship?